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Faith is what heals us, heals the heart and soul that binds.
From walking down the hall, into the bathroom
To hearing the foot prints behind you.
Shhhhhhhhh! And than it starts.
A moment or second longer this time,
Gives me a second or two, to remember beautiful things.
The way that God said my life would be, if I was a good girl.
The way my mommy used to take me to the park.
The way my sister read me stories at night.
The dark, it’s so dark.
I can hear his heavy breathing on my neck and the fingers and hands touching me.
Should I scream, should I speak, he covers my mouth, Daddy’s little angel.
Daddy will bring a surprise home tomorrow
Daddy will rock you to sleep.
Daddy will talk to mommy; tell her about our special arrangement.
She’ll understand.
You don’t have to speak.
I will always have faith that this is just a nightmare.
That this will go away, should I?
THE PROMISE"
As I noticed myself becoming old and gray,
I knew it was time to visit the little girl of yesterday.
She had been kept safely hidden
In a place where others had been forbidden.
She knew I had to leave her long ago,
So one of us could find the strength to grow.
I promised her that I would someday return,
For she was my main concern.
No one could understand how her and I connect,
For I was the one present during the crime and neglect.
As I opened the door to yesterday,
I heard the sound of children happily at play,
But I noticed her sitting all alone and sad
Until our eyes met and she became glad.
We reunited by hugging and kissing one another
Like a beloved daughter and a mother.
I comforted her and dried away her tears
That were too painful for so many years.
As I looked in her small eyes of grey,
I told her that the monster had gone away.
She looked up at me and said,"I love you"
Then I replied, "I love you too".
Someone who cared had finally set her free.
The little girl that I used to be.
This poem is one of my favorites and this woman who had a
warm heart and soul, endured for very long.
Nightmares
It has been two weeks since I left
the torment of his hand
The abuse and accusations
I could no longer stand....
So I packed my things and left again
for the final time
Our married life has ended
I'm not coming back this time.
And then last week a tragedy
rocked
When a gunman went on a rampage
in
Killing 35 innocent people
at the Historic site
the horror left behind.
I didn't even stop to think
of it's effect on me
The two things were not related
so what was there to see?
Only when the night came round
and I went to sleep it seems
The horror of those incidents
came to haunt me in my dreams.
My husband that I had left
had a rifle in his hands
Stalking me outside my house
like a possessed man....
Though sleeping I am soon awake
as the shots ring out
He is firing at my parents
and everywhere about.
Screaming I fell to the ground
and crawled along the floor
My parents were still in their bed
no life in them no more....
My heart is slowly breaking
as he had come to see
That my life was always with him
even if he killed me!
Stop it, I scream to him
there's no need to go on
There is no more life in here
my security is gone....
But he continued firing
I could no longer pretend
That he now means to kill me
my life is about to end!
Then as the bullet hits me
and I'm sprawled on the ground
I fall into a deep blackness
and emptiness I found....
Is this the end, am I dead?
as lonely tears I weep
As I'm shaken to reality
I am woken from my sleep.
I tiptoe to my parent's room
and see them in their bed
Sleeping soundly in the hours
and I realise they're not dead....
The life he tried to take from me
I cannot understand
He professes his undying love
with his fisted hand.
A short-lived marriage that we had
we're no longer joined as one
There were too many violent incidents
and damage he has done....
The horror of my life with him
I cannot ever compare
Though I loved him he still hurt me
and now haunts me in nightmares.
© Christina Putland
Seeing a child's innocent face
Knowing that things aren't as they appear
For inside she cries silent tears
Deep inside she is filled with pain
She feels dirty and full of shame
Innocence lost at a very young age
Locked this child in a pain filled cage
There is no freedom or escape
From the fact this child was raped
While the guilty man is roaming free
This child is sentenced to eternity
Eternity locked away with all this shame
She can't help but feel that she was to blame
Even though common sense says it was not her fault
She can't seem to help from having these thoughts
What ifs' keep running through her mind
She keeps going back to those moments in time
If there isn't something different she could have done
Why didn't she scream or at least try to run
Fear kept her frozen to the spot
While this grown man did what he should have not
Shame and fear made her keep the silence
Kept her telling anyone about the violence
The thing that is shocking beyond belief
Is that this child never had a moments relief
The same thing happened again and again
The first one was just how it began
More than one man did his worst
None of them caring about the child they hurt
After the first time was it easy to tell
Was it her pain and shame they could smell?
With every touch a part of her died
Nowhere to go Nowhere to hide
Alone inside forever.
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